Purity Can Be Found in the Newly Fallen Snow

All of our old snow melted this weekend, tonight we are getting another new coat of the white fluffy flakes. This weekend my brother-in-law also brought his fiance over so I could get to know her. I met her at Christmas but I was not yet ready to really meet her. It was such an intimate time and I was not finished grieving yet for my sister; but God has given me some closure.

Surprisingly, I find that I may now be ready to let this woman into the honored place my sister once filled. She seems nice, she likes red walls, and gardening; and I am sure that I will find many more things that she has in common with me. So I will say to her: "I wish you the best and hope that the Lord blesses you and my brother-in-law with a long life together." I think Kathy would be pleased.

Best Christmas Ever!

We put up a tree for Kathy at her grave site today. It was a beautiful white one, and looked like one that an angel would love to grace (maybe she will do just that and watch over my sweet sister's grave this season). My niece and her husband bought it, they and their children, and Brody and I placed ornaments on the tree. Craig and Mom stood by and watched as we remembered how full of life she was. She loved Christmas most of all and I hope this will honor her memory in a heart felt way. We miss you Kathy and I pray we will all remember what you taught us, that life is precious and time spent with each other is something to be treasured. Thank you sis:)

Traditions

Our family is deep into traditions. My sister was so deep in them she was a "starched" follower of traditions. Every Thanksgiving she would bring all her paper's ads and as soon as the dinner was over she was pouring over all the ads for Black Friday shopping.

This was a tradition for her and her girls, every year they would wander out into the dark morning to find whatever bargains they could find. Just the mere mention of this event sparked a light in her eyes, and she would busily write down what store had what and how much it would be. I don't know if she ever got much of what she went after, but somehow I don't think it was really about the bargains. I think it was about spending time with her girls and spreading the excitement of all Christmas was for her. I envied the times they had since I never had any girls to "bond" with in that way. I went a few years, once by myself and once dragging my son along; and I don't think what my son and I felt was necessarily bonding!

This year we celebrated Thanksgiving with her in-laws, they graciously invited us to "crash" their holiday celebration. They celebrated early, then next week on Thanksgiving itself we will celebrate with my Mom and my brother-in-law. It will be a sober time for us and I am sure Kathy's name will be spoken some, but we will also remember her excitement and her smiles. My son's smiles remind me of her, his eyes light up just like his Aunt Kathy's did.

My Thankfulness

As we approach Thanksgiving I am saddened by the fact that my dear sister won't be with us this year. Her absence will be greatly felt and we will remember our last holiday with her, but we will also remember the thankfulness that we have felt for her profound influence on our lives.

She was my big sister and always tried to protect me from the bullies at school and in the world. She was the first to criticize me but also the first to support me if someone else criticized me. She would not hesitate to come to my defense if she thought someone was trying to best me. I will miss her, but I am forever thankful for the joy she brought into my life, the support she gave me with my son, Brody and for her influence in my spiritual life.

This Thanksgiving I am truly thankful for having a sister who knew the Lord, who wasn't afraid to stand up and say that she knew Him, and for not finding fault with me when I sometimes was not walking the path Christ wanted for me. She was an inspiration and a great mentor, and I will remember the heritage she has given us this Thanksgiving. Thank you Kathy.

Fridays

My mother and I have not always had a close relationship. I probably still would not call it a close relationship. We are very different people and for that reason it seems difficult that we should see things from the same perspective. In the past this has caused some problems, but now that she is less independent some of those perspectives have leaned toward my own or maybe it's the other way around.

One of our weekly adventures is takeing her to have her hair done, something that she started back when I was a small child. Now that she does not drive much I take her to her stylist, we then get groceries if she needs them and sometimes we eat out. This small ritual has somewhat cemented our lives further and I enjoy the small talks we have while we share this weekly occurrence. Today prior to picking her up, I will be dropping books at the library and boxes to Goodwill,and maybe taking cardboard to the recycle bins. I will be paying the water bill and finally picking Mom up for her "hair therapy". Today it will be just the two of us, it is raining and cold and windy, so I will not be enjoying this part of the day. The one part I will enjoy is the time when we talk about nothing really, but it means much more to me than that.

Little Things

Do you ever wonder how some people never seem to panic over anything, others only panic over the big things, and some people just panic over everything? You might ask yourself "what is the difference in their lives to account for their resolve or lack of?" Is it that they have no one who can help them through every bump and fall in life? I believe it is perspective. I have a perspective that God is holding my hand at every turn and twist, that He will eventually guide me home. My sister had that perspective and she is now home and I believe she was holding his hand the whole way.

I have a close friend who falls apart at every turn and small occurrences during the day, that may or may not affect her, will send her into a tailspin. She needs the Lord to get her perspective, to see that he wants to hold her hand during these times, but she is so stubborn she will not see how much he loves her and how much he cares. She is not alone, often times if we are honest we all have that perspective.

This week was one time I lost my perspective and needed prayers and many offered those prayers. I had to be tested for the cancer that took my sister's life, I was scared. After the test was done and I had the results, which were good, I realized how much God was holding on to me. I had not arrived home before the phone inquiries were starting. He was indeed holding my hand and I knew no matter what the outcome he had placed my strength within the hedge planted around my life. To all those reading,family and friends alike, if you were one that prayed for me "Thank you. Thank you for being my hedge the mighty warriors of prayers".

Revival of the Front Porch Anyone?

What ever happened to the front porch? You know the kind, not what we now call a stoop, but a real porch. It can hold a porch swing or a few wicker chairs, no rugs needed. I remember sipping lemonade out of an ice cold glass as I chatted with our neighbor lady rocking on her old wicker chairs. We spoke of everything and nothing, we just sat there sometimes only sniffing the air and feeling comforted that God was still taking care of things.

People still walk their dogs, and some still walk the neighborhood, but there are very few neighbors sitting on front porches nodding or waving. No one bids walkers to come up for a sip of iced tea or a chat. We have gotten so busy in our lives that we need to hurry to get inside where we can shut ourselves off from the rest of the world.

Neighbors used to be "neighborly", now we only wave and smile or maybe even hurry past them without even a nod. Can we continue to live this way without paying a price and do we really want to shield our children from knowing the extention of our neighborhood? I am challenging anyone to take one night to enjoy your neighborhood, sit in lawn chairs and watch the neighborhood. Spray the bug spray if you must, but see how many people wave or offer salutations as they walk past. Then smile in your heart while you make plans to build on your own front porch, have iced tea with your neighbors and say "thank you Susan for reminding us of how to live."